Whether you’ve known it or not, God has spoken to you. You might have thought it was just your own thoughts, or that you were talking to yourself in your head. But it was the Holy Spirit. His voice may be distant right now, but if you listen closely, you’ll be able to block out your own voice (and the enemy’s voice) and hear only Him.
I was in a bit of a funk last week so I had to stop and really listen to God. As it was happening, I attempted to put my thoughts (with God) into words, as a “conversation” between me and Him. Although it will look like a three-minute conversation, it actually took about 30 minutes.
If this encourages you, imagine how much MORE you’d be encouraged if you listened to Him yourself. 😉
God: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing.
God: I see you’re hurt.
Me: Who cares?
God: I do.
Me: You only care because I can’t help people when I’m hurt.
God: Who told you that?
…
God: Why are you putting your voice above Mine?
Me: It’s easier to believe.
God: Why can’t you believe Me?
Me: Because I don’t agree with You.
God: About what?
Me: That I’m worth it.
God “You are worth more than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:31)
Me: (Eye roll) And what does that mean exactly?
God: I made you. I made you to be exactly who you are today. You are important to Me.
Me: So I can help Your people. Sure.
God: No. YOU are important to Me. You matter to Me.
Me: Ok, so what?
God: Why can’t you see?
Me: Because I choose not to.
God: What are you afraid of?
Me: That I’ll let You down. I don’t want to be worth something to You, because I will let You down.
God: I don’t love you because of what you do. I love you because of who you are.
Me: And who am I?
God: My child.
…
Me: What were You thinking? Why did You give me all this?
God: All of what?
Me: My family.
God: I didn’t give them to you. I gave you to them.
Me: You picked the wrong person.
God: I never make a mistake.
Me: I won’t be enough for them.
God: You don’t have to be. I am enough for them.
Me: I will let them down.
God: And they will let you down. Will you still love them?
Me: Yes.
God: Why do you think they won’t still love you?
Me: Because I don’t.
God: You don’t what?
Me: Love me.
God: Why are you so hard on yourself?
Me: I don’t know. It has always been my fault. I’m always the problem.
God: My children are not the problem. Sin was the problem. I took care of that. So why are you still fighting inside?
Me: Because it hurts.
God: I am the Healer.
Me: Then, why does it still hurt?
God: Because you didn’t ask.
…
God: Why aren’t you asking? You fight because it hurts, but you don’t ask to be healed.
Me: Maybe I want to suffer. Why?
God Suffering is home to the flesh. But you have died to your flesh, and have risen with Me. I am your home now. Come back home to Me.
Me: Father, thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for this wisdom. Thank you for rescuing me. Bring me back home to you. I don’t want to suffer inside anymore. By choosing to suffer, I take Jesus’ suffering for granted. Jesus won the battle—the one inside of me. I am no longer of the flesh. I am a child of God. Lord, forgive me for my sin. Help me to keep my eyes lifted to You. Please heal me from these hurts. Deliver me from this pit. Lift me out of the mire and onto you. You are a firm foundation. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Amen!
Note: I believe that the Bible is wholly and solely the inspired Word of God. When God “speaks” to me through my thoughts, I always check what I think He’s saying to me against what I know is in the Bible.
Purple Petunia 