Do you ever have one of those mornings where everything seems to go awry? Not in a big way, but in small, yet irritating, ways that just pile on top of each other?
This morning, I woke up late so I was rushing. Both kids were crying about something. Getting them dressed, which is normally uneventful, was more like trying to negotiate a peace treaty with hostile parties. My daughter wouldn’t eat the breakfast she always eats because now, it tastes “dis-tusting” to her. Although I’ve driven the route to school dozens of times, I somehow missed a turn so we had to take a different route. On this new route, a guy in the car behind me flipped me off for no apparent reason. At school, I apparently forgot how to park and was daringly close to the car parked next to me, which made me anxious. Getting out of the car, my daughter’s hair had so much static in it that she looked like she touched one of those static electricity balls in the museum. I was so sure that, upon arriving home, I would find poop in the dog’s crate. Fortunately, there wasn’t…
It wasn’t a pretty morning. After some (admittedly, not all) of those small “events,” I tried responding in the right way. In the car, I gave my daughter something to eat from her lunch so she wouldn’t be hungry. I prayed for the guy who flipped me off. I apologized to my daughter for getting upset with her at home. I pointed out the beautiful scenery we got to see because we went a different route. I tried deenergizing my daughter’s hair as best I could and told her that she looked beautiful.
Even though I tried having the right reactions, my heart wasn’t in it. I came home and still had all that pent-up frustration from the morning. I wasn’t feeling too joyful, and I felt discouraged.
So I sat there and prayed, “What did I do wrong? I tried doing the right things when I could, but I don’t feel good. I feel like a failure.”
In the silence, God reminded me that, while I didn’t respond PERFECTLY every time, I did do some good things.
He wanted me to focus on the good I DID do and how that affected OTHERS, and not to focus on how I FELT at the moment.
Doing the right thing does not always get rid of the negative feelings you may have (at least not at first). We are, after all, sinful beings. Those negative feelings you have are likely a result of that. For that reason, you can’t always use your feelings as a gauge. Just like you can’t always trust your feelings.
And you know what, after realizing all of this and having some time in prayer with God, I feel a thousand times better 🙂
“The one who trusts in his own heart is a fool,
but the one who walks in wisdom will escape.” Proverbs 28:26a (NET)
Purple Petunia 