In my last post, I wrote about how I asked God in prayer to deliver me from my “funk” of despair, which He did. In the days that followed, I asked God, “Now what? I feel better, but I feel like I’m right on the edge and could fall in again at any moment. How do I walk away completely?” He said, “You need to let that part of you die.” He’s talking about that part of me that LIKES the comfort of misery.
Make sure you read that right—I’m not saying we like to be miserable necessarily. I’m saying we like the COMFORT of misery. I think this can happen when you are miserable for so long that it becomes a new normal—a new “you.” You become comfortable in that new skin, born from misery.
It’s hard to leave it because you eventually deceive yourself (with the enemy’s help) into thinking that’s who you really are! Who you’re meant to be. That this new “you” is just a wiser version of your former self. You’ve just become wise from life experiences.
But you start living your life on the defensive. You almost automatically respond to people and circumstances with bitterness, hate, and anger, thinking that everyone (including God) is out to get you.
Or maybe you find comfort in the misery because somewhere inside, you feel like you deserve to be there. You sit back in your hot tub of sorrow, slowly moving your arms back and forth, thinking, “Yes… this is where I belong. I don’t want to be miserable, but the water sure feels great.”
Now, here’s the truth. That’s not who you really are. Far from it. The enemy’s lies have infiltrated your mind and wreaked havoc on your thoughts and feelings. So much so, that you find comfort there!
Friend, let it go. Let that comfort go. Make a decision now to let that part of you die forever. It’s not who you are anyway. By letting that part of you die, the REAL you will come to the surface. It was hiding underneath all that misery, but it’s not dead! YOU’RE not dead!
And you know who else is there, sitting next to the real you? God the Almighty. The Holy Spirit. He has been waiting patiently, protecting the REAL you from dying. The “you” that He created. The “you” that is full of life, love, and joy.
So how do we do this? The answer is simple but hard to do: “And [Jesus] said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.’” Luke 9:23-24.
Deny yourself the pleasure of that comfort. Get out of that hot tub. You may be cold and uncomfortable at first, but there’s something better out there for you.
God will be there with you every step of the way, but He’s not always going to make it easy for you. Like teaching your kid how to tie shoes, you don’t just do it for him and say, “See! That’s how it’s done. Now, you do it!”, and then walk away. Instead, you show him maybe once or twice. Then, you sit back, observe, and maybe give some hints along the way. As he gets better, you help less and less. He will struggle and maybe quit a few times. But that’s a part of the learning.
Learning how to deny yourself is hard. I feel like God “tied my shoes” for me this time (after I confessed, asked for forgiveness, and surrendered). But I’m ready to try again!
And when you mess up, it’s ok. Give yourself some grace. God already has. Confess, ask for forgiveness, and try again! You have Jesus to thank for that :)
God is with you everyday. And He is always rooting for you! The REAL you.
Purple Petunia 