This was my prayer the other day: “God, am I doing this right? I want to do what pleases you, so can you let me know if I’m on the right track here? I love you—how can I show you that I love you? Whatever you ask of me, I will do for you. What do you need from me?” His response: “Ask your husband the same question.”
The first and greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Luke 10:27). God’s message to me was not contradictory to that. He was simply guiding me to something that I need to work on right now in my marriage: vulnerability.
When was the last time you asked your spouse these questions: “How am I doing, honey? Am I supporting you in the way you need me to be? What can I do better?”
Admittedly, I don’t think I’ve ever asked my husband these questions, or anything even remotely similar. Not because I don’t care, but because I don’t want to be vulnerable to his response. More specifically, I’m afraid if my “areas for improvement” are laid out on the table for him, he’ll realize I’m not good enough and leave. It sounds ridiculous, but that’s the logic (even if only on a subconscious level).
The fear of rejection is powerful—one of the enemy’s greatest weapons. This fear often takes root in your childhood and grows like a weed into adulthood. You carry it into your marriage, and it seeks to destroy that beautiful bond. The fear of rejection is like a roadblock in your path to total vulnerability in your marriage.
But remember, even the enemy’s best weapons are no match for God. The supernatural power you have inside of you (the Holy Spirit) is greater than any weapon the enemy can use against you.
Whatever fear is taking grip of you right now, think about how much power it has over you currently: what it’s keeping you from doing, how it’s stalling progress in your marriage, how it’s infecting your heart with bitterness.
Now, take a second and realize that the Holy Spirit’s power that is available to you—it’s MUCH stronger than that fear. And I don’t even mean twice as strong—I’m talking exponentially stronger! Lyrics from one of my favorite songs: “There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know.” (“Oh My Soul” by Casting Crowns).
Call on God to help you overcome your fear. Pray that He will heal the wounds that caused your fear to grow. This can be a hard process, but you’re not alone. God is with you every step of the way!
Here are some verses to get you started:
“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
“So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1
Purple Petunia 